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A Gift, Can Get You Killed

A South African man recently killed a woman with whom he was having a relationship with because she refused to take him back. For those of you who are not familiar with the story, the deceased had decided to end the relationship after being subjected to abuse. The man allegedly attempted to coerce her by gifting her a car. When that didn't work, he shot her.


To my surprise, many people, mostly men, believe the woman deserved it because she turned him down after having received a gift from him even when other sources claim she didn't (well, it doesn't matter whether she received the gift or not!). I would like to express my displeasure and anger with the toxic habit of believing that women owe men everything when men do something for them in form of money, gifts and other favors.

It is very disappointing that a lot of women have been harassed for something as little as a glass of wine. I can tell thousands of stories where women have been abused,raped , hacked down, brutally murdered because a man felt entitled to her body.


Most men will make an offer to a woman, and her acceptance appears to imply saying yes to everything and anything the man wants from her. But why should women have to compensate for a man's failure to communicate? Women should be allowed to choose what they say yes to, and men should not assume.


If you're a woman, I know you have been in a situation where a man felt like owned you after doing something for you. It appears that many men live up to the adage that "nothing in this world is free" and are willing to go to whatever extreme to live up to that.


This habit of blaming and questioning women who are victims of abuse says a lot about a lot of men we have in our society. We must question why most men are only nice when they want something from women in exchange. We must question why a majority of men become violent the moment something doesn’t go their way. We must question men who sympathize with abusers.



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